Robot Dinosaur
by JackFiction
Summary: Raven finds herself in another life or death situation and it's all Beast Boy's fault. Again. She really should stop caving in to his incessant whining. Oneshot.


Author's note: Thanks for reading! I have no excuse for this, just I've been kinda into dinosaurs lately. And by lately, I mean for the past three years. Please review and give me writing prompts!

Summary: Raven finds herself in another life or death situation and it's all Beast Boy's fault. Again. She really should stop caving in to his incessant whining.

Rating: K+ for swearing

Disclaimer: I own nothing 

...In the middle of a god forsaken jungle...

Raven was running for her life.

"This is completely your fault!" she accused her teammate.

"My fault? How is this my fault?"

"Uh, we're being chased by a giant robot dinosaur. How is it not your fault?"

A crash, loud enough to be a falling mountain, echoed through the forest. It sounded closer than a couple of seconds ago and a quick glance back told Raven that, yes, the robot dinosaur was gaining ground.

"You didn't have to come, you know," The green boy to her left informed her with a hidden grin. The idiot was almost enjoying this terrifying chase.

She rolled her eyes in response. "And then listen to you throw a tantrum and whine about missing the"coolest mission ever" for a month?" They both knew he would have done exactly that. She remembered the last time she ignored his pitched and drawn out pleas of "but Ra~aven, pleeaaasssee" to go on an under water adventure with him. Her ears didn't get relief for three solid weeks. And then _this_ mission came up.

"Well, you gotta admit this is pretty cool," Beast Boy said, jumping over a rather prickly bush.

"Yes, because running from a rampaging metal T-Rex is sooo cool," Raven said dryly.

"Okay," he said and threw up his hands. "Sarcastic tone noted."

They jumped over a small cliff and skidded their way down, both sticking out a hand to guide the descent. She could feel the dirt and bug feces dig under her nails. Gross.

"I was just seeing if it was friendly," He added in a pitiful attempt to placate her, probably just realizing that she was actually angry and not at all joking. Her not so quiet continuous mumbles of "Goddamn it" might have given it away.

"And you found out it was hostile. How unexpected," Raven said as she landed on solid ground. "Is that why you were trying to take a massive crap on it's head?"

"What?! It's called teabagging!" Beast boy protested defensively. He waved her into a nearby cave. "I was teabagging! It's a video game thing."

With a shake of her head, Raven resolved she will never understand boys, then followed her partner into the unlit cave. Somewhat distant roars indicated that the metal dinosaur was clearly struggling to follow them down the cliff side, but the delay would only give them a couple of minutes to hash out a plan.

Afraid their voices would give their position, Beast Boy whispered, "Can't you teleport us out of here?"

"Oh, good idea," Raven said in a hushed voice. It came out as a menacing hiss. "I wish I thought of using my life saving powers 10 minutes ago when our lives were in desperate need of saving."

"Yup, sarcasm again," Beast Boy observed. "So you're pretty much useless, huh?"

Raven glared at him with narrowed eyes. She didn't have to say anything to make her point.

"Like, I mean you don't have your powers," he fumbled after hearing his own words. "So you can't really do anything."

Raven's silent glare continued. Her eyes might have started to glow.

Getting more frantic, he flailed his arms a bit. "Uh I mean you're a girl, so... I'm just digging myself deeper aren't I?"

She agreed darkly, "You're barely ghosting over six feet there, buddy."

Beast Boy suddenly rubbed his neck and said, "Well, I guess there's only one thing to do then."

Having only one option was never good. Especially with Beast Boy.

"Are you planning to go out by yourself?" Raven asked. "One lucky step and that thing will squish you into a pile of green snotty mess."

"Thank you for that wonderful imagery." Beast boy winced slightly, but recovered and confidently declared, "It may be bigger, but I'm smarter."

"Now is hardly the time for jokes, Beast Boy," Raven said deadpan.

"What I _mean_," he said, as if _she_ was the difficult one to deal with, "is these things always have a self destruct button. It's standard issue for all the 15 story mecha dinosaurs."

"Of course," Raven said unimpressed.

Suddenly, Beast boy grabbed her shoulders and gave her a solemn look. He said seriously and without warning, "You be bait." In a flash, he transformed and ran out of the cave before she could argue that this plan was the absolute _worst_ plan ever.

"What? Wait! Get back here!" She demanded, then swore, "Ugggh that little bastard!" Thoughts of abandoning him to the monster had to be forcefully squashed. Their team leader would be less than pleased if her mission report wrote: _Casualty: Beast Boy. Reason: He was being an annoying prick._

So, Raven took in a sharp breath and ran out of the cave. Beast Boy was nowhere to be seen, but the huge metal dinosaur was hard to miss. Cursing him and his dumb plan, she picked up a sizable rock and lobbed it at the mechanical beast. She could hear the gears shifting as it turned towards her, its red eyes hungrily focusing on her.

"Yes, that's what we want. Enrage it further, Raven," She muttered to herself. "Shhii-!"

The dinosaur's foot crashed down, making the entire forest ground shake under its weight. The force was enough to unbalance her, but she reoriented herself in time to avoid the next one. Fully confident its attention was on her, but deciding it didn't matter either way, Raven fled. Three seconds in, she was quickly reminded of how awful it was to run without her powers. A steady stream of choice words ran through her head as a tree root successfully snagged her right foot. Luckily, she caught herself before she face planted the dirt. Unluckily, her ankle twisted anyway.

Unable to put her full weight on her left leg, she limp-ran to take shelter behind the nearest boulder. No powers meant no instant healing, but the initial pain was already dissipating as the unfamiliar sensation of endorphins numbed the area. "What is that moron doing?" She growled, sensing she would be royally screwed if Beast Boy didn't do something soon. She gave him damn well long enough.

"Ha! Found it!" She heard his triumphant cry.

The dinosaur gave one last enormous roar, then the deafening whir of its mammoth engine stopped. Raven dared a peek and saw the giant metal hunk topple forward, its tiny arms serving no function in cushioning the fall. Raven rolled her eyes. Whoever spent millions of dollars designing this piece of junk only further proved Earth housed the galaxy's biggest imbeciles.

Raven shifted around the rock, coughing a bit from the cloud of loose dirt and smoke. Her vision was sorely compromised, but she saw the faint outline of her teammate emerging from the remains of the fallen robot. From the way he walked, with half of his body dragging behind, his left side was obviously injured. Despite it all, he wore a sloppy grin.

"Dude, that was so sweet!" he exclaimed, apparently unaware that his bones shouldn't be sticking out the way they were. "Critical placement of the self destruct button. How you holding up? Nothing broken or profusely bleeding?"

"Better condition than you, it seems," Raven said, her eyes sweeping his form up and down. "But I twisted my ankle."

He took a look at himself. His arm was loosely dangling and a puddle of blood was already forming at his feet. "Ohhh, yeah, I can't feel my left half," he said, still unfazed by his excessive wounds. Continuing walking towards her, he politely suggested, "So what say you, we hobble on out of here?" He took three steps, then collapsed, his left side clearly not cooperating.

"Hobble or crawl?" she asked, suddenly feeling a small pinch of pity for him. He just looked so pathetic.

"Uggh," he groaned into the ground. "Rae-Rae, why did you let me come on this mission? You know we always end up in these situations."

And just like that the pity left her. She turned to walk away and announced, "Yup, I'm leaving."

"No, wait, you're going too fast! Rae, at least drag me!" he called to her.

…...…...…... 75 minutes of hobbling/crawling later...

"Ugh," Beast Boy moaned, slowing down. "I'm going to pass out."

"Good," Raven responded. She continued to limp forward.

"No, seriously Rae, the black is closing in," he mumbled, falling to a knee. He lowered himself to his stomach, not even bothering to turn his head to one side. His nose smashed into the grass. "I'm just gonna lie here."

She looked back, exasperated. "Beast boy we can't just-" she paused, feeling energy inside her. "Wait, my powers. They're back! I can feel it! We probably just passed a warding barrier or something," she proclaimed excitedly. Or at least as excitedly as she could proclaim.

"Uh huh," the green boy said, not caring. "Good story. Sleep time."

"No," Raven demanded. "No sleeping. Just drag your butt a little further over here so I can heal you."

With the last bout of his strength, Beast Boy reached out a hand, but it anticlimactically flopped back on the ground.

"Pathetic," Raven mumbled, looking at her fallen comrade as she healed her ankle. It only took a few seconds. After failing to use her power to levitate him out, she resorted to grabbing his good arm to drag him across the few remaining feet to pass the border.

"Thanks, I haven't eaten enough dirt today," he said, voice muffled.

"You're lucky I have the heart to not abandon you here," she declared, already working on his swollen left side. Healing another person always required more time and energy than healing herself. She grimaced. Although dulled, the biggest downfall to her ability was the transfer of the patient's pain to her.

"Sorry," he croaked, his eyes closed. "I know you take the pain when you heal."

"Just remember this when we get back to the tower. You owe me at least two weeks of no pestering," she told him.

"Oh, you know you love my pestering," he wheezed. "If anything there should be more pestering."

"You're lucky I tolerate it," she retorted.

"You tolerate it... because you want someone... to get you out of your dank room..." he whispered, which was followed by soft snores. He was sound asleep.

"There's another reason why I tolerate it, you idiot." And knowing there were no witnesses in that cruddy forest, she pressed a small kiss to his grime covered forehead.


End file.
